Chipmunks

Chipmunks. The word makes people smile. It makes them think of cute, puffy cheeks and adorable little squeaks. Yeah. Those people have never had a family of them living under their house.

Shortly after I put up a bird feeder this summer, I woke to a noise I couldn't identify. A bird? (Pretty LOUD bird!) I dragged myself to the kitchen window to look. No bird. But that repetitive, loud squeak continued. I looked down and saw a chipmunk. How cute! He was right on our front porch. I called the kids over. "Look, kids! A chipmunk...right on our porch! Isn't he cute?" Everyone loved him. He was eating the fallen seed from the feeder. Now, we could watch birds in the mornings, then when they all left, we could watch our furry friend.

Shortly thereafter, we had some landscaping done. Our trees were trimmed. Our front bushes were all replaced. Our chipping sidewalks were replaced. Our grass was reseeded. Our plant beds were reshaped and heavily mulched. It was beautiful! A few days later, I saw a very clear hole in the mulch near our front porch. It was the size of a golf ball. Then I noticed more in and around the new bushes. Covering them didn't work. More holes popped up. I figured it was the chipmunk, but did he really need eleventeen exits to his bachelor pad? Mmmm...now I'm thinking this chipmunk has invited his buddies to move in. Well, do I remove the bird feeder (and the chipmunk's source of food?) My eyes are getting older. If I want to see the birds with any amount of clarity, I need it pretty close to the house. Do I change the feed? (What DO chipmunks eat, anyway?) Maybe if I change the content of the feed, the furbeasts, I mean chipmunks won't like it and go away. None of it matters much because...

A chipmunk has died under our house. How do I know this? There is an aroma. We can't pinpoint it, but it is not at the entrance to the house. It is halfway through the house near the door to the basement. I certainly am not breaking through drywall if I'm not sure of the rotting carcass' exact location. I can't find this flipping thing and it's stinking up my house! I have voice students two days a week. We have to run a "Brethe Machine"(yes, that's the spelling of this scented air purifier) to get rid of some of the smell. Depending on the weather, the odor can get very strong. According to the Internet, chipmunk corpses can take over two weeks to fully dry out and stop stinking. Great. If it's been almost two weeks and the smell is getting stronger, does that mean that I have TWO dead rodents under my house???

I am going to try to get any remaining furbeasts to move out of their condo under my house. I am not going to poison them because they'll likely DIE UNDER MY HOUSE, which is not working out too well for me here. I read that soaking rags in ammonia and stuffing them into SOME of the holes will drive them away. (You have to leave a hole open for them to make their getaway.) Let's hope this works. I've seen "Caddy Shack." Rodents can be cunning... Stay tuned.